callmekitto:

internetfeet:

People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t

Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”

And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”

THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.

my-name-is-hilarious:

theyahoostaff:

yourfriendthecrow:

I don’t know bout y’all, but the Yahoo staff are fucking HILARIOUS

We are not fucking HILARIOUS

HILARIOUS COME HERE AND TELL THEM THAT WE ARE NOT FUCKING

theyahoostaff and i are just friends gOD

thecapn:

did you know that teachers are instructed to get in between two boys in an altercation and break their eye contact because boys will disengage once the immediate situation is interrupted but they’re instructed to like never ever get in between two girls in a fight because girls wont stop after they lose sight and will actively try to go through whatever’s in between them and teachers are supposed to wait for security to break the shit apart

teenage girls will fuck your shit up 

ham-and-pineapple:

  pizza:

mozzarella-cheese:

Fun fact:

Me and the Tumblr user Pizza used to date. We were always together and such. I hate to say it now but I was always on top.

Oh hey babe! Haven’t talked to you in ages xx

ahh shit well this is awkward

iwillfucknepeta:

pimpeta-slap:

mrv4n1ll4m1lksh4k3:

pimpeta-slap:

Who came up with kissing? Seriously?
Did 2 people one day accidentally bash heads together and went like, “Oh… That was nice”
*violently bashes head together again*
“This should be a thing”

kissing is a method of exchanging saliva (and thus DNA) to determine whether or not you would want to reproduce with that person

*Bashes heads once more*
You are a prime candidate for my child.

mskneesocks:

you’re the only one who understands me google

oopsfuckproductions:

nahshaw:

in bio class we were talking about punnet squares and recessive genes and blood types and this kid was like both of my parents blood types are B and I’m a type O and the teacher was like no that’s impossible and whatever it turns out that the kid is adopted and he found out via bio class oh my fucking god

edwardspoonhands:

tyleroakley:

Oops.

lolololol

physicalvocalist:

fallen-angel-in-the-tardis:

lembas-and-cram:

concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

rendezvousramen:

addictedtopunsandpizza:

macaronivevo:

jesuschristvevo:

is it data or data

is it route or route

is it caramel or caramel

is it either or either

is it read or read

is it lead or lead

Maybe its Maybelline

I hate how any English speaker knows exactly what’s happening here.